Monday, December 1, 2008

line book revisions


jamie said...

Removing the bottom white hole is best. But still refine the type. It feels awkward in the holes. Try more aggressive cropping and push legibility to the limits.

Of the two, I think longing in the mind is better. It's improved, but the text is still too dominate. Perhaps not a bright white for the letters? Perhaps smaller yet?

When something is still not working with small adjustments, it is time to make some big steps. Perhaps in the white space, and not on the face at all? Looking at it? Framed by it? Or crossing into the other page like Desire. Or integrating on the building instead of the line study.

Shy and Empty

jamie said...

P.S. Is shy really hiding as much as it could?